1 - Why do pigs run into trees?
To shake out the
I've never seen an alligator In a tre... More ››
2 - Why did the little pig try to
join the Navy?
He loved to sing, "Oinkers Aweight"... More ››
3 - What did the pig say when his brother rolled on
"Heavy!"... More ››
4 - The teacher was furious with her son. "Just
you've been put in my class, there's no need... More ››
5 - MOTHER PIG: What did you learn in
FIRST PIGLET: Oink! Oink!
SECOND PIGLET: Oin... More ››
6 - If an elephant is the
symbol of the Republican
Party and a donkey is the symbol of the
Democra... More ››
7 - A city child came running into the farmhouse. "No
that mama pig is so big," she yelled.... More ››
8 - Did you hear about the pig's vacation?
had a wonderful time at Yellowstone National Park. T... More ››
9 - How do you get your pigs to sleep at night?
problem. Everyone here goes to bed with the chick... More ››
10 - What do you get when you cross a pig with a
I don't know, but when it sits on your ele... More ››
11 - Why didn't the Blonic Pig get a TV series of his
He made the mistake of going to a barbec... More ››
12 - Did you hear about the piglets
who wanted to
do something special for mother's day?
What did t... More ››
13 - What did the mama pig say
when junior pig
bought a basket of wormy apples?
"Don't tell the far... More ››
14 - FIRST PIGLET: How do you know your boyfriend loves
SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters wi... More ››
15 - Why did the spotted pigs run away?
thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put hi... More ››
16 - What did the
pig do when a beetle landed in
his feed trough? He ate it quickly, before
the oth... More ››
17 - What's that pig doing in the middle of the road
with a red light on its head?
Didn't you tell... More ››
18 - Why won't the witch
let the traveling pig
actors into her gingerbread cottage?
She's afraid th... More ››
19 - I told you not to let those pigs In my office.
Now, look what's happened.
They've eaten all th... More ››
20 - SOW: Would you like a nice cake with three
candles for your party?
PIGLET: I'd rather have thr... More ››
21 - Why wouldn't the
piglet's mother let her
read romantic novels?
She was afraid her daughter wou... More ››
22 - Pigs don't look very smart to me.
are. You ever see a sow try to make a silk purse ou... More ››
23 - What did the fat pig say when the farmer
dumped corn mash into the trough?
"I'm afraid that's a... More ››
24 - Mama Pig has a great, new kitchen appliance that
lets her prepare meals ahead.
It's called a g... More ››
25 - Mama Pig has a great, new kitchen
that lets her prepare meals ahead.
It's called a g... More ››
26 - Did you hear about the pig who tried to
a hot-air balloon business?
He couldn't get it o... More ››
27 - Is lunch the favorite
subject of piglets?
No, it's theatre. They love to ham It up and hog all... More ››
28 - Did you hear of the pig who began hiding garbage
She wanted to do her Christmas s... More ››
29 - Why should you never invite a pig to join your
Pigs want to be pulled through... More ››
30 - Why wouldn't the bird
let her chicks go near
the pig pen?
She didn't want the pigs eating shre... More ››
31 - The kids are crazy about a new piglet
When they wind it up, it eats all the spinach off the... More ››
32 - Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?
Because its head is on one side and its tail is on... More ››
33 - What do you get when you cross a pig with an
A very large animal that knows a lot of... More ››
34 - All our pigs are learning karate.
Oh, I don't
No? Well, just watch out for their... More ››
35 - Why did the pig join a muscle-building
He thought "pumping iron" was a new juice dispen... More ››
36 - Why did the pig run away from the pig
He felt that the other pigs were taking him for grun... More ››
37 - Why wouldn't the sow let her piglets play with
She didn't want them to grow into wart h... More ››
38 - Did you hear about the pigs
who took up
They wanted to catch bugs with their tee... More ››
39 - Why didn't the pigs eat the rotten eggs in their
They were saving the best for la... More ››
40 - Is it true the pigs went over
Niagara Falls in
No, that story's just a lot of hogwas... More ››
41 - Why is the cook worried
about catching his
He knows a little ham goes a long way.... More ››
42 - If you drop this book in a pig
should you do?
Take the words out of their mouths.... More ››
43 - The hog was a failure as a TV talk show host
He turned out to be a big boar.... More ››
44 - Why do pigs never recover from illness ?
Because you have to kill them before you cure them !... More ››
45 - Have you heard about the pig who took up disco
He liked to swing his weight around.... More ››
46 - What did the mama pig say
to her bad little
"Behave or Frankenswine will get you."... More ››
47 - Why did the little piglet fall
in love with
Because he was such a sloppy dresser.... More ››
48 - Why did the piglets get in trouble in their
stained glass class?
They stained it with mud.... More ››
49 - Why was the pig happy when reviewers criticized
Because they called it garbage.... More ››
50 - What should you say to a pig on roller skates?
Don't say anything. Just get out of the way.... More ››
51 - Why isn't there a Superpig?
It's too hard
for a pig to change clothes in a telephone booth.... More ››
52 - Why did the piglets get in trouble in
They ate all the specimens.... More ››
53 - Two pigs robbed a bank. Why were they caught so
They squealed on each other.... More ››
54 - Why are there so many piggy banks?
like to hide their money in the mattress.... More ››
55 - Why is your dad chasing those
pigs through the
We're raising mashed potatoes.... More ››
56 - Why did the pig send his story to New
He wanted to be published on Pork Avenue.... More ››
57 - Why was
the pig unhappy in the Minors?
Because he wants to play in the Pig Leagues.... More ››
58 - What did the pig say
when he found a line of
ants in his trough?
"Mmm. Canapes."... More ››
59 - Why won't pigs take up
don't like to get that far from the table.... More ››
60 - How can you tell the pig
is a failure as
By the egg on its face.... More ››
61 - When pigs have a party, who jumps out of the cake?
Nobody. The pigs all jump in.... More ››
62 - How can you recognize a Gnome
They're the ones with the little red hats.... More ››
63 - What was the name of the hog who was knighted by
Sir Lunchalot.... More ››
64 - Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it "Ham Hocks".... More ››
65 - What did the pig say when the wolf grabbed her
"That's the end of me!"... More ››
66 - Why didn't the piglets listen to the teacher
Because he was an old boar.... More ››
67 - Doctor, doctor, I've got a
Then you'd better buy a little pig.... More ››
68 - What world athletic sporting event is held every
The Olympigs!... More ››
69 - Pig's explanation for the creation of the
The Pig Bang Theory.... More ››
70 - Why did the little pig hide the soap?
the farmer yell, "Hogwash!"... More ››
71 - Why did the
pig wear yellow coveralls?
split a seam in his blue ones.... More ››
72 - What do you get when you cross a pig with a billy
A crashing bore.... More ››
73 - Why doesn't Santa hitch
his sleigh to a pig?
Pigs don't have red noses.... More ››
74 - What kind of bread do pig ladles make in the
Sow-r dough bread.... More ››
75 - Where did the piglets study their ABC's?
school for higher loining.... More ››
76 - What famous pig actor made a movie about
Boaris Karloff.... More ››
77 - What do you get if you cross pigs with a lot of
A swine gut !... More ››
78 - How does a mama pig put her piglets to sleep?
She reads them pig tales.... More ››
79 - Why are pigs such early risers?
Did you ever
try to shut off a rooster?... More ››
80 - Why did the big pig want to go on stage?
was a lot of ham in him.... More ››
81 - How did the little pig win at Monopoly?
built hotels on Pork Place.... More ››
82 - Who do they get for Babe the pig's dangerous
A stunt ham.... More ››
83 - What do little pigs want to be when they grow up?
Garbage collectors.... More ››
84 - What is the pig's favorite musical instrument?
The piggalo (piccalo).... More ››
85 - Why did the piglets do badly in
They were all slow loiners.... More ››
86 - What do little piglets do on a Saturday night?
Have a pigjama party!... More ››
87 - Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green?
was Saint Patrick's Day.... More ››
88 - Did you hear the story
about the razorback
It's pretty dull.... More ››
89 - What would a pig name a chain of food
"Stop "N Slop Markets"... More ››
90 - What would happen if pigs went on strike?
They'd form pigget lines.... More ››
91 - Where is the most open green space in New York
Central Pork... More ››
92 - What are the pigs warned to look out for in New
Pigpockets.... More ››
93 - What do you do for a pig with sore muscles?
him with oinkment.... More ››
94 - What does a pig use to write his term
Pen and Oink!... More ››
95 - What did the pig say when it found a fly in its
"Yum Yum."... More ››
96 - What do you call the story of The Three Little
A pig tail!... More ››
97 - When is a pig an
recycles garbage into ham.... More ››
98 - Why are pigs such great
They're always rooting.... More ››
99 - Do pigs like Backgammon?
No, they prefer their
backs scratched.... More ››
100 - When pigs get a toothache, who do
Painless Porker.... More ››
101 - Which of these jokes do the pigs like best?
The corniest ones.... More ››
102 - Why did the pig go to the casino ?
To play the
slop machine !... More ››
103 - Why can't
there be a Santa Pig?
don't fit in chimneys.... More ››
104 - Why do pigs like February 14th?
They get lots
of Valenswines.... More ››
105 - What do you call an oversize motorcycle for pigs?
A hog hog.... More ››
106 - What do you call pigs in a demolition derby?
Crashing boars.... More ››
107 - Why did the pig go to the
the slop machine!... More ››
108 - Why did the pig join the Army?
He heard the
food was a mess.... More ››
109 - FARMER: Who raided my vegetable
PIGLET: Beets me!... More ››
110 - How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
sty-scraper!... More ››
111 - What song do pigs sing on New Year's Eve?
Auld Lang Swine.... More ››
112 - What do you call a pig with no clothes on?
Streaky bacon!... More ››
113 - What do you say to a naked pig?
sausage a body."... More ››
114 - Why couldn't the pig pay his bill?
He was a
little shoat.... More ››
115 - A
pig's favorite movie:
The Monster That
Ate New York.... More ››
116 - Why do pigs love Halloween?
There's lots of
hogsgobblin.... More ››
117 - What do pigs do on nice afternoons?
They go on
pignics.... More ››
118 - What kind of pig do sows dislike?
Chauvinist Pigs.... More ››
119 - Where do retired pigs go for warm weather?
tropigs!... More ››
120 - Why do pigs have flat snouts?
From running in
to trees.... More ››
121 - What do you call a lady pig planting seeds?
sow sow.... More ››
122 - What kind of furniture do pigs like best?
Overstuffed.... More ››
123 - What position does the pig play in football?
Loinback.... More ››
124 - What would happen if pigs could fly?
would go up!... More ››
125 - Who is the greatest painter of this century?
Pigcasso!... More ››
126 - What do you call a pig in a steel foundry?
pig pig.... More ››
127 - What do you call a pig with good table manners?
Sick.... More ››
128 - What instrument do piggys play in a band?
Pigcussion!... More ››
129 - Where does a woodsman keep his pigs?
In his hog
cabin!... More ››
130 - What do you call a pig that took a plane?
Swine flu!... More ››
131 - What is Chuck Norris' "best karate move"?
Pork Chop!... More ››
132 - How do you take a pig to
hambulance!... More ››
133 - Name the pig's
favorite Shakespeare play.
Hamlet.... More ››
134 - What do piggys take when they are sick?
Pigicillin!... More ››
135 - What do you call a pig with the flu?
swine.... More ››
136 - What do you call a pig with three eyes?
piiig... More ››
137 - What did the pig call a manuscript?
story.... More ››
138 - What do you call a pig with no legs?
groundhog!... More ››
139 - What do hip pigs call their ladies?
swine.... More ››
140 - What do you call a pig who overacts?
ham.... More ››
141 - What soft drink do pigs
beer.... More ››
142 - Where do bad pigs go?
They get sent to the
pen.... More ››
143 - What do pigs like with chow mein?
sauce.... More ››
144 - What kind of tie does a pig wear ?
!... More ››
145 - Sports fad
invented by pigs:
wrestling.... More ››
146 - Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?
Cupigs!... More ››
147 - What is a pigs favourite ballet?
Swine Lake!... More ››
148 - How does a pig write home?
With a pig pen.... More ››
149 - What do you call a pig thief?
A hamburglar!... More ››
150 - What do you call a crafty pig?
CunningHam... More ››
151 - What do you give a
Oinkment!... More ››
152 - What goes "knio, knio?"
A backward pig.... More ››
153 - What do pigs drive?
Pig-up trucks!... More ››