1 - Party Host: Hello?
Phone Caller: I'm
trying to reach a Ms. Nidiot. Her first name is Ima.
Coul... More ››
2 - A man and a couple of
his friends had
just finished a round of golf at the country club and
th... More ››
3 - After my wife and her former best buddy,
another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that p... More ››
4 - After my wife and her former best
Air Force wife, were separated by a move that p... More ››
5 - Moody was
awakened by the telephone at
four A.M. It was his Ku Klux Klan buddy,
Crumm, calling... More ››
6 - A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of
"Do you ever hear voices without being... More ››
7 - At three o'clock one morning a
veterinary surgeon was woken from a deep sleep by the ringing of... More ››
8 - Harry was madly in love with Betty, but
couldn't pluck up enough
courage to pop the question fac... More ››
9 - The new office-boy came
into his boss's
office and said, "I think you're wanted on the phone,... More ››
10 - The phone in Rigby's Georgia farmhouse rang
one evening. When he answered, the operator said, "T... More ››
11 - Kelso met Hensley on the
said Kelso, "how come I never hear from you? Why don't y... More ››
12 - Hello, police? Please send an officer over
to 324 London Road
Sorry, this isn't th... More ››
13 - Caller: Operator! Operator! I don't know
what's wrong with my phone, but I can't make long dista... More ››
14 - Caller: My goodness, Operator! Your nose is
stuffed up, I can't understand you. You should re... More ››
15 - Who was that on the phone, Fred?
No one important. Just some man who said it was long dist... More ››
16 - Caller: Operator! Operator! Do you know my
boyfriend's line has been busy for an hour?
Operato... More ››
17 - Why did the girl who worked for the
sing all the time?
Because she was an ope... More ››
18 - Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a
Doctor: Why's that?
I keep getting calls in t... More ››
19 - How can you tell if someone who's having a
temper tantrum is on the phone?
You get a tizzy sig... More ››
20 - Why did Dr Frankenstein have his telephone
Because he wanted to win the Nobel prize!... More ››
21 - How can you tell if someone who's just had
a perm is on the phone?
You get a frizzy signal!... More ››
22 - How that we are engaged I hope you'll give
me a ring.
Of course. What's your phone number ?... More ››
23 - Mother: Why was the phone busy all
Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.... More ››
24 - What do you call a telephone call from
one vicar to another ?
A parson to parson call !... More ››
25 - Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an
Operator: Okay. You're an ambulance!... More ››
26 - What happened to the little frog who sat on
He grew up to be a bellhop!... More ››
27 - What do you get if you cross a telephone
with a fat football player?
A wide receiver.... More ››
28 - What do you get if you cross a pig and a
A lot of crackling on the line !... More ››
29 - If you cross a telephone and a pair of
scissors, what do you get?
Snippy answers.... More ››
30 - What do you get if you cross a telephone
and a marriage bureau ?
A wedding ring !... More ››
31 - Why did the chicken walk on the telephone
She wanted to lay it on the line!... More ››
32 - What do you get when you cross a telephone
with a pair of
Bell-bottoms!... More ››
33 - What do you get if you cross a phone with a
A party line!... More ››
34 - How do Iranians speak on the
Persian-to-Persian (person-to-person).... More ››
35 - What asks no question but demands an
A doorbell or a ringing telephone.... More ››
36 - What did the man say when he got a
"Who said talk is cheap?"... More ››
37 - What did the answering machine say to the
Take my word for it.... More ››
38 - What do
you call the sound a ghost makes
when he calls you?
A phone moan.... More ››
39 - What do you get if you cross a
with an iron?
A smooth operator!... More ››
40 - What do you get if you cross a telephone
Ringworm!... More ››
41 - If you cross a telephone and a lobster
what will you get?
Snappy talk.... More ››
42 - How does a baboon make phone calls?
just monkeys around on the line!... More ››
43 - Why are there so many Johnson
They all have phones.... More ››
44 - What do
you get if you cross a phone
with a rooster?
A wake-up call!... More ››
45 - Why is an engaged girl like a
Because they both have rings.... More ››
46 - When doesn't a telephone work
When it's wringing wet!... More ››
47 - How does a football player make phone calls?
On a touch-down phone.... More ››
48 - Why did the alien phone home on his mobile?
Because it was so ET !... More ››
49 - How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?
You get a buzzy signal.... More ››
50 - What do you get if you cross a phone with a
Tele-Scope.... More ››
51 - How did the telephones get married ?
double ring ceremony !... More ››
52 - How do, like, really laid-back types answer
Mellow.... More ››
53 - How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub?
They both have rings!... More ››
54 - What animals talk on the telephone the most?
The yakety-yaks!... More ››
55 - Who invented the telephone?
Phoenicians (phone-itions).... More ››
56 - What do you call
an elephant in a phone
Stuck.... More ››
57 - When does a horse talk on the phone?
Whinny wants to!... More ››
58 - What kind of music do phones love to hear?
A symphony... More ››
59 - How does a baritone make phone calls?
Song distance!... More ››
60 - How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls?
Collect!... More ››
61 - How does a skeleton call her friends?
a telebone.... More ››
62 - How does a cheerleader answer the phone?
H-E-L-L-O!... More ››
63 - What do ghosts use to phone home?
terror-phone.... More ››
64 - How does a door chime answer the phone?
Bella?... More ››
65 - How do scaredy-cats answer the phone?
Yellow?... More ››
66 - How does a lobster answer the phone?
Shello?... More ››
67 - What kind of phone makes music?
saxophone.... More ››