1 - A woman goes into a funeral home to make
husband's funer... Read More ››
2 - An English guy was very ill and his son
went to visit him in the hospital. Sud... Read More ››
3 - A Packer fan was enjoying himself at
the game in a packed Lambeau Field,
unti... Read More ››
4 - A woman goes into the local newspaper
office to see that the obituary for her... Read More ››
5 - This elderly Newfoundland
is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons... Read More ››
6 - A chemist, a shopkeeper and a teacher
sentenced to death by firing squad.... Read More ››
7 - A man
is calling on his best friend
to pay a condolence call the day after the... Read More ››
8 - A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal
raisin cookies cooking downstairs. It... Read More ››
9 - Phoning the florist to order some
flowers for her lover's funeral, woman was c... Read More ››
10 - A chap went up to the counter in the
and said, "Have you got any books... Read More ››
11 - Sam was on his death bed, and his wife
and children were
around him.... Read More ››
12 - A man is fibbing
away about how
great things are in his country. Finally, he s... Read More ››
13 - Three weeks after her wedding
Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she... Read More ››
14 - "Do you
believe in life after
death?" the boss asked one of his employees.... Read More ››
15 - At the inquest
into her husband's
death by food poisoning Mrs Wally was asked... Read More ››
16 - "Why are you crying Fred?" asked the
'Cos my parrot died last nigh... Read More ››
17 - There was a great loss today in the
entertainment world. The
man who wrote the... Read More ››
18 - A monster and a zombie went into a
funeral home. 'I'd like to order a coffin f... Read More ››
19 - The man who
was about to die said
to the Sheriff,
"Say, do I really have to... Read More ››
20 - A monster and a zombie went
the undertaker's. "I'd like to order a coffin... Read More ››
21 - A man was sitting in the electric
chair. The executioner said, "Look, I'm sorr... Read More ››
22 - Vampire 1: "I once went so long without
fresh blood that I
Vam... Read More ››
23 - Did you hear someone has invented a
coffin that just covers the head?
It's fo... Read More ››
24 - What's the difference between a very
old, shaggy Yeti and a dead
One's... Read More ››
25 - Teacher: If I had ten flies on my desk,
and I swatted one, how many flies woul... Read More ››
26 - Why did the cowboy
die with his
boots on ?
Because he didn't want to stub his... Read More ››
27 - Did you
hear about the undertaker
who buried someone in the wrong place and wa... Read More ››
28 - If a woman is born in Italy, grows up
England, goes to America and dies in... Read More ››
29 - Did you hear about the do-it-yourself
They just loosen the earth an... Read More ››
30 - Doctor, doctor, I'm at death's door!
Don't worry, Mrs Jenkins. An operation wi... Read More ››
31 - I've been e-mailing William
William Shakespeare's dead, silly.
No... Read More ››
32 - My brother's a professional boxer.
No, featherweight. He tickles... Read More ››
33 - When a knight in armour was killed in
battle, what sign did they put on
his gr... Read More ››
34 - What is the difference between a
musician and a
One composes and... Read More ››
35 - If a man was born in England, raised in
America and died in Spain, what does t... Read More ››
36 - I was so sorry
to hear you buried
your mother last week.
Well, we had to, you... Read More ››
37 - Teacher: What can you tell me about the
Pupil: Dead ?, I didn't even... Read More ››
38 - Waiter, waiter! There's a
in my soup.
Oh no! Who's going to look af... Read More ››
39 - Why do you want to be buried at sea?
Because my wife says she wants to dance o... Read More ››
40 - Did you hear about the two men who were
cremated at the same time?
It was a... Read More ››
41 - Why did the monster
take a dead man
for a drive in his car?
Because he was a... Read More ››
42 - Doctor, doctor, I feel dead from the
I'll arrange for you to be ha... Read More ››
43 - What are you doing?
I'm trying to
Oh, haven't you heard? He... Read More ››
44 - Did you hear about the man
his job at the mortuary?
It was a dead e... Read More ››
45 - Question: What
did the dead raccoon
say in his will?
Answer: "Leave it to Be... Read More ››
46 - What do you call a man who has been
dead and buried for
thousands of years?... Read More ››
47 - Waiter, there's a fly in my soup
Yes, it's the rotting meat that attracts t... Read More ››
48 - First ghoul: You don't look too well
Second ghoul: No, I'm dead on my f... Read More ››
49 - Why do cemeteries have fences around
Because people are dying to get in... Read More ››
50 - What lies on the ground 100 feet up in
the air and smells?
A dead centipede.... Read More ››
51 - Q: What is the
A: When you stop paying taxes suddenly.... Read More ››
52 - What is posthumous work ?
written by someone after they are dead !... Read More ››
53 - Why was George Washington buried at
Mount Vernon ?
Because he was dead !... Read More ››
54 - What is the last thing you eat before
You bite the dust.... Read More ››
55 - What did the little kid do with the
He buried it.... Read More ››
56 - What kind of ghosts haunt operating
Surgical spirits.... Read More ››
57 - What's a zombie's favorite pop song?
Dead sails in the sunset.... Read More ››
58 - What has four legs, a tail,
whiskers and flies?
A dead cat.... Read More ››
59 - What do you find in a zombie's veins?
Dead blood corpuscles.... Read More ››
60 - Where do ghosts go for their holidays?
The Dead Sea.... Read More ››
61 - How do you make a Venetian
Poke him in the eye... Read More ››