1 - A man goes out and buys the best
available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Tur... Read More ››
2 - A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a
stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce.
He ro... Read More ››
3 - One day, two guys were driving
local grocery store to get some food. On t... Read More ››
4 - Ole
and Lena were sitting down to
their usual morning cup of coffee,
listeni... Read More ››
5 - A young bloke has started work on a
property, and the boss
sends him up the... Read More ››
6 - Andy wants a job as a signalman on the
railways. He is told to meet the inspec... Read More ››
7 - A fellow was following a truck in heavy
Every block or so, when
the... Read More ››
8 - A man is driving along in the Irish
countryside, when he
comes to a petrol sta... Read More ››
9 - Five Englishmen
in an Audi Quattro
arrive at the Italian border.
The Italia... Read More ››
10 - Blake and his parents were
at the bar in a train station when they he... Read More ››
11 - A young man comes home and says "Dad,
just got my driver's license and would l... Read More ››
12 - A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in
New York on a dark
night. The passenger... Read More ››
13 - A
Roadway driver is driving east on
Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and... Read More ››
14 - A grizzled old man was eating in a truck
stop when three Hell's Angels' bikers... Read More ››
15 - A businessman was traveling in the train
seat was reserved in the last... Read More ››
16 - A tiny
racing car was developed by
American scientists. The Americans then sen... Read More ››
17 - A man is driving down the road for a
long period of time.
his trave... Read More ››
18 - An Irish
priest and a Rabbi get into
a car accident. They both get out of thei... Read More ››
19 - A guy driving a truck in the middle of
nowhere picks up a hitch-hiker.
It get... Read More ››
20 - After seeing a
documentary on how
inner city youths can remove
the wheels of... Read More ››
21 - Dilmer, six-foot-three, two hundred
eighty pounds, was thrown from
his seat wh... Read More ››
22 - A driver pulled up beside a rundown
farmhouse. He got out
knocked at the... Read More ››
23 - One day there was a family driving in the
car to Michigan to
visit their relat... Read More ››
24 - After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the
long lines, surly clerks, and
insane... Read More ››
25 - A sardarji
was working as editor in
a daily newspaper. Once he was travelling... Read More ››
26 - A man learned shortly before quitting
that he had to attend a meeting.... Read More ››
27 - A passenger train is creeping along,
slowly. Finally it creaks to a
halt. A pa... Read More ››
28 - The train was about to pull out of the
station. Swinging a
large bag, a young... Read More ››
29 - A Lutheran
minister is driving down
to New York to see the
radio show and he... Read More ››
30 - Peter Ludwig, a caver from Austria who
appalled by American driving
habits... Read More ››
31 - A state trooper pulled a car over and
told the man driving
that he was going 50... Read More ››
32 - A driver tucked this note under the
windshield wiper of his automobile. "I've... Read More ››
33 - Jill's car was unreliable and she
called John for a ride every time
it broke d... Read More ››
34 - In a very small alley two trucks
driving in opposite directions meet.
As th... Read More ››
35 - A man was driving up a steep and narrow
A woman was driving do... Read More ››
36 - A man was fed up of
having his car
broken into and having his radio stolen he... Read More ››
37 - Auntie Gladys
bought herself a new
rear-engine continental car. She took an ol... Read More ››
38 - While driving along the back roads of a
small town, two
truckers came to an ov... Read More ››
39 - Kelly was standing in front of Cohan's
Tavern when he saw a driverless car rol... Read More ››
40 - Auntie Maud bought herself a new
rear-engine European car. She took an
old fri... Read More ››
41 - It had been snowing for
an announcement came over the intercom: "Wi... Read More ››
42 - As a
senior citizen was driving down
the freeway, his car phone rang. Answerin... Read More ››
43 - One day a guy was driving with his
and beeped his car horn... Read More ››
44 - WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It
has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAN... Read More ››
45 - Q: How many auto mechanics does it take
to change a light
A: Six - One... Read More ››
46 - "Where's the car?" asked Professor
Delbert's wife when he got home.
"Did I... Read More ››
47 - A San Francisco motorist following a
taillight in a dense fog crashed into the... Read More ››
48 - McAfee and Bracket were driving home
after a big party.
"Hey," said McAfee,... Read More ››
49 - Two cab drivers met.
one, "what's the idea of painting one side of... Read More ››
50 - A man whose son had just passed his
test went home one evening and fou... Read More ››
51 - Hawk and Tom were talking in the bar.
Hawk said," I just got kicked off the co... Read More ››
52 - A man was in court charged
parking his car in a restricted area. The judg... Read More ››
53 - A man was in court charged with
parking his car in a restricted area. The judg... Read More ››
54 - A driver, obviously
heading the wrong way down
a one-way street wh... Read More ››
55 - Personally, I like
to stay and read
the credits. When the last scene of Titani... Read More ››
56 - I saw the most beautiful
cars in the
window of a dealership recently. A sales... Read More ››
57 - On Fred's 17th
birthday, his Dad
said he'd take him out for his first driving... Read More ››
58 - You know all that talk about backseat
Well, I've been driving all... Read More ››
59 - A man
walks into an auto parts store
and says "I'd like a rear view mirror
f... Read More ››
60 - If an electric train travels 90
miles an hour in a westerly direction and the... Read More ››
61 - Q: Who has the right of
four cars approach a four-way stop at the sam... Read More ››
62 - Two wizards in a car
along and the police were chasing them for s... Read More ››
63 - "When you exit the bus, please
sure to lower your head and watch your step.... Read More ››
64 - A monster goes to a petrol station and
says: Fill me up
The man at the petrol s... Read More ››
65 - A boy sat on a train chewing gum and
staring vacantly into space, when suddenl... Read More ››
66 - Motorist: When I bought this car you
told me it
was rust-free, but underneath... Read More ››
67 - Policeman: What do you think you're
doing driving through that
intersection fi... Read More ››
68 - My sister's a really bad driver.
What makes you say that?
Every time she goe... Read More ››
69 - I was going 70 miles an hour and got
stopped by a cop who said, -Do you know t... Read More ››
70 - A motorist ran into a shop.
own a black and white cat?" he asked. "No,... Read More ››
71 - Policeman: I suppose
to tell me you weren't speeding.
Motorist:... Read More ››
72 - Q: How many London taxi drivers does it
take to change a
A: What... Read More ››
73 - If you watch the way that many motorists
drive you will soon reach the conclus... Read More ››
74 - Did you hear about
the girl who was
so keen on road safety that she always wor... Read More ››
75 - When I get real bored, I
drive down town and get a great parking spot,... Read More ››
76 - Teacher: "Who built the first American
Student: "Me Pilgrims."
Teacher... Read More ››
77 - What's the difference between a
schoolteacher and a train driver?
A schoolte... Read More ››
78 - Motorist: Does a deer have a
Police Officer: No, a deer has two horns.
M... Read More ››
79 - Policeman: Are you going
Motorist: No, I'm trying to prevent one.... Read More ››
80 - Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles
Ghost: Why don't you take a train.... Read More ››
81 - Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles
Ghost: Why don't you take a train?
M... Read More ››
82 - What do you get if
you cross a Rolls
Royce with a vampire?
A monster that at... Read More ››
83 - Policeman: What do you think you're
doing parking your car there?
Motorist: I... Read More ››
84 - What sort of a car has your dad
I can't remember the name. I think it s... Read More ››
85 - Policeman: Why did
you stop your
car, get out, and yell "coward" at the traffi... Read More ››
86 - Q: What changes would occur in your
lifestyle if you could no longer drive law... Read More ››
87 - Policeman: I've had my eye on you for
Young Lady: That's funny... Read More ››
88 - Why was the school
pleased when he bumped into an old friend ?... Read More ››
89 - What's the difference between a teacher
and a conductor on the railroad?
One... Read More ››
90 - Policeman: Why were
when I stopped you?
Motorist: So I could rac... Read More ››
91 - a quadruple amputee is waiting at the
bus stop.The bus pulls up.Driver says
"... Read More ››
92 - Did you ever see a country boy in New
York whistle for a cab? He puts two fing... Read More ››
93 - Q: What is the difference
flashing red traffic light and a flashing... Read More ››
94 - What is the difference between a
locomotive engineer and a teacher?
One minds... Read More ››
95 - Policeman: How can you say
don't have any outstanding tickets?
Driver: Th... Read More ››
96 - Policeman: Why were you
around in circles and laughing?
Motorist: I t... Read More ››
97 - Why did the stupid racing car driver
make ten pit stops
during the Grand Prix?... Read More ››
98 - Policeman: Why did your car
spin around in circles?
Motorist: I was maki... Read More ››
99 - Policeman: Why were you
Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing mysel... Read More ››
100 - Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian
A: What for? He... Read More ››
101 - Why did your sister refuse the gift of a
Japanese car ?
Because she'd never b... Read More ››
102 - What did the monster say when he saw a
hour train full of passengers?
O... Read More ››
103 - Policeman: Did you realize you just
missed that bus with your car?
Motorist:... Read More ››
104 - Policeman: Didn't you see my
Motorist: No, I was going faste... Read More ››
105 - Policeman: Didn't you see
with the speed limit?
Driver: I thought t... Read More ››
106 - Learner driver: What happens when
everything's coming your way? Instructor: Yo... Read More ››
107 - Policeman: Why did you lead me on a
Motorist: Because you'd... Read More ››
108 - Why do you have to wait so long for a
ghost train to come along?
They only r... Read More ››
109 - What did the big carburettor say to the
"Don't inhale so... Read More ››
110 - Did you hear
about the boy who had
to do a project on trains?
He had to keep... Read More ››
111 - Policeman: Why didn't
you stop at
that red light?
Motorist: Then you would ha... Read More ››
112 - Policeman: Didn't you hear me
whistle at you?
Woman Driver: Sure, but I don't... Read More ››
113 - Q: How can you reduce the possibility of
A: Be too drunk... Read More ››
114 - Policeman: Why are you
car in circles?
Driver: I was just going... Read More ››
115 - Policeman:
Why were you
Motorist: I was trying to get home before I... Read More ››
116 - "Take the wheel, Harry!" said the
nervous lady driver. "There's a tree
coming... Read More ››
117 - Policeman: Why are you
without a license?
Motorist: Because it was re... Read More ››
118 - Policeman: Do you know
how fast you
Motorist: No, you're the one... Read More ››
119 - Q: What did the first stoplight say to
A: Don't look I... Read More ››
120 - Policeman: Why are you driving on the
Motorist: It's too dangerous on... Read More ››
121 - Policeman: Why
didn't you obey that
Driver: I don't believe everyt... Read More ››
122 - Policeman: Why did you
that stop sign?
Motorist: I was only follow... Read More ››
123 - Policeman: Why were you
Motorist: I was trying to get away from the c... Read More ››
124 - What is the best thing to take when
you're run over?
The number of the car th... Read More ››
125 - What do you get if you cross an Egyptian
mummy with a car mechanic?
Toot and... Read More ››
126 - Policeman: How can you drive so
Driver: I have to, this is a geta... Read More ››
127 - Policeman: Why were you
Motorist: Your siren lulled me t... Read More ››
128 - What do you call someone who draws funny
motor vehicles ?
A car-t... Read More ››
129 - Police Officer: Why are you driving in a
Motorist: I'm in a car... Read More ››
130 - Policeman:
Didn't you see that stop
Driver: I keep my eyes closed in tr... Read More ››
131 - Policeman: Why have you parked your bus
Bus Driver: The sign says "Bus... Read More ››
132 - Why did the car judder to a stop when it
It had a nervous break... Read More ››
133 - Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy
A: Carry loaded weap... Read More ››
134 - What should a teacher take if
The number of the car that hit... Read More ››
135 - Police Officer: Why were you
Women Driver: I was late for traffic sch... Read More ››
136 - What do you call a pig who's been
arrested for dangerous driving
A road ho... Read More ››
137 - Policeman: Why were you
Driver: I didn't want to be late for my trial... Read More ››
138 - What is the meaning of
It's the car most sales representatives drive.... Read More ››
139 - What kind of car drives over
Any kind of car, if it goes over a bridge.... Read More ››
140 - What did the man put on his car when
the weather was cold?
An extra muffler.... Read More ››
141 - The only thing wrong with a perfect
drive to work is that you
end up at work.... Read More ››
142 - What happens if an
axe falls on your
You have an ax-i-dent (accident).... Read More ››
143 - What is evil and ugly and goes at 125
A witch in a high speed train.... Read More ››
144 - Where do cars get the most
Where there is a fork in the road.... Read More ››
145 - How do you stop a dog howling in the
back of a car?
Put him in the front.... Read More ››
146 - Policeman: Didn't you hear my
Motorist: Sure, that's why I sped up.... Read More ››
147 - What did one car muffler say to the
"Am I exhausted!"... Read More ››
148 - What do you call a person who falls onto
you on a train ?
A laplander !... Read More ››
149 - What would you have if your car's
motor was in flames?
A fire engine.... Read More ››
150 - Why is it not safe to doze on trains?
Because they run over sleepers.... Read More ››
151 - Why is an old car like a baby
Because it goes with a rattle.... Read More ››
152 - What part of a car is the
The wheels. They are always tired.... Read More ››
153 - Why did the man put his car in the
Because he wanted a hot rod.... Read More ››
154 - Whats black and white and red all
A nun in a car accident.... Read More ››
155 - What
happens when a frog's car
It gets toad away..... Read More ››
156 - What do you get when you put a car and a
pet together ?
Carpet !... Read More ››
157 - Q: When driving through fog, what
should you use?
A: Your car.... Read More ››
158 - What do you call a witch who
A road hag.... Read More ››
159 - How did the woman feel when she got run
over by a
Tired.... Read More ››
160 - Brother: How do you top a car
Sister: Tep on the brake, tupid.... Read More ››
161 - Q: What kind of a car does a crazy man
A: A LOCOmotive.... Read More ››
162 - What is a banged-up used
car in first-crash condition.... Read More ››
163 - My dad is stupid.
He thinks a fjord
is a Norwegian motor car.... Read More ››
164 - Q: How do you deal with heavy
A: Heavy psychedelics.... Read More ››
165 - What is an autobiography?
story of an automobile.... Read More ››
166 - What did the jack say to the
"Can I give you a lift?"... Read More ››
167 - What kind of ears do trains
Engineers (engine ears).... Read More ››
168 - Q: What do you call a laughing
A: A Yamahahaha... Read More ››
169 - What do you say to a
Hop in.... Read More ››
170 - What song does a car radio play?
cartoon (car, tune).... Read More ››
171 - Who drives away all of his
A taxicab driver.... Read More ››
172 - Q) What's worse than raining
A) Hailing taxis!... Read More ››
173 - What is an autograph?
A chart which
shows car sales.... Read More ››
174 - What driver doesn't have a
A screw driver.... Read More ››
175 - What do you call a pretend railway
A play station !... Read More ››
176 - Q. What has one horn and gives milk?
A A milk truck.... Read More ››
177 - What car do insects drive?
Volkswagen automobile.... Read More ››
178 - Who drives away all
A taxi driver.... Read More ››
179 - Which snakes are found on cars?
Windscreen vipers.... Read More ››
180 - Where do ghost trains stop?
crossings.... Read More ››
181 - What do you call a group of cars ?
clutch !... Read More ››