A man is
walking down the street when he hears
a voice, "Pssst you come over
here!" He looks round and can see no
one but an old mangy greyhound.
"yes over here!" Said the greyhound
"Look at me I'm tied up here, I
should be racing I won 14 races in
my carrer you know?" The man thought
to himself "Oh my god a
talking dog, I have to have it, it will make
me rich, tv appearances
cabaret bookings" So he goes in search of the
the owner and said "I'd like to buy your dog, is he for
owner says "No mate you don't want that old moth eaten
"But I do!" Insisted the man "I'lll give you 1000 pounds for
said the owner but I think your making a big mistake!" Handing
the money the man said "Why do you think that?" The man replied
"Because that dogs a bloody liar it's never won a race in it's
A man walking along a country road comes
across a farmer droving a huge mob of sheep. He stops and chats for a
while and then says, "Tell you what, I'll bet you $100 against one
your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in that
The farmer thinks for a moment, it is a big mob and he can't
anyone could guess correctly so he says, "OK. You're
"Nine hundred and thirty two," says the man.
takes off his hat and scratches his head. "I don't know
how you did
it but that's exactly right. A bet's a bet. Take any
The man picks up an animal and is about to walk off when the farmer
says, "Hang on. Bet you double or nothing that I can guess your
The man thinks, "How would he know, he's never met
me before" and
says "Righto. You're on".
The farmer says,
"You're an auditor with a Big Four firm."
The man whistles
. "How the heck did you know that?"
"Well," says the farmer,
"put my dog down and I'll tell you."